Last night’s planned date cancelled again — the second cancellation from him in two weeks.
This time, I said “no, thank you,” to the reschedule.
Look, I get it. People get busy. Both times, we had a dinner scheduled for 6:30 PM. Both times he got in touch by around 3pm to say that work was getting too busy and he wouldn’t be able to make it.
Hey, look: I get it. Work happens. Life happens.
But do you know how my life happens? Well, when I want to go on a date, I look at my calendar. I look at when my ex has the kids, and that is 50% of weekend nights and Wednesdays from 4-7. I look at my kids’ schedules, and what they have going on: I need to be home Thursdays, because their week-long assignments are due Friday, and they really need extra support in finishing them up. I look at the stuff going on in my life: deadlines at work — yeah, end of fiscal year on Tuesday means that’s going to be a bad day to make commitments.
And then I choose a date, and then I negotiate for support: okay, Wednesday at 6:30 means the kids will be with their dad, but I won’t be home until 8 or 8:30. My parents can watch the kids in the evening, but I need to be sure I see them off in the morning, so they won’t feel neglected. My two eldest will still be up at 8:30, but my littlest won’t, so he needs extra kisses early, and I need to plan to be sure my older son reads enough of his weekly assigned reading, even though I won’t be there to supervise.
And then I choose an outfit that can work as work outfit and a date outfit. I plan my schedule so that I leave the office at the right time to get to my date, which means shifting my hours later than I really like.
And then at 3pm I get a phone call.
I get it. Work happens. Life happens.
But when it happens all the time, stop making fucking commitments until you can get your act together.