Fish, Cut Bait, or Go Home

Last night’s planned date cancelled again — the second cancellation from him in two weeks.

This time, I said “no, thank you,” to the reschedule.

Look, I get it. People get busy. Both times, we had a dinner scheduled for 6:30 PM. Both times he got in touch by around 3pm to say that work was getting too busy and he wouldn’t be able to make it.

Hey, look: I get it. Work happens. Life happens.

But do you know how my life happens? Well, when I want to go on a date, I look at my calendar. I look at when my ex has the kids, and that is 50% of weekend nights and Wednesdays from 4-7. I look at my kids’ schedules, and what they have going on: I need to be home Thursdays, because their week-long assignments are due Friday, and they really need extra support in finishing them up. I look at the stuff going on in my life: deadlines at work — yeah, end of fiscal year on Tuesday means that’s going to be a bad day to make commitments.

And then I choose a date, and then I negotiate for support: okay, Wednesday at 6:30 means the kids will be with their dad, but I won’t be home until 8 or 8:30. My parents can watch the kids in the evening, but I need to be sure I see them off in the morning, so they won’t feel neglected. My two eldest will still be up at 8:30, but my littlest won’t, so he needs extra kisses early, and I need to plan to be sure my older son reads enough of his weekly assigned reading, even though I won’t be there to supervise.

And then I choose an outfit that can work as work outfit and a date outfit. I plan my schedule so that I leave the office at the right time to get to my date, which means shifting my hours later than I really like.

And then at 3pm I get a phone call.

I get it. Work happens. Life happens.

But when it happens all the time, stop making fucking commitments until you can get your act together.


One thought on “Fish, Cut Bait, or Go Home

  1. Pingback: Mistakes Made, Lessons Learned | Six Months of Bad Dates

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s